HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

Normally I don't even bother reading the holiday emails that get spread around like a cold in day care...but this one resonated so completely with my feelings about holidays and food, I had to share! 

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare...You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think; it's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free...lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a glass of red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "PRAISE GOD, what a ride!"

Of Which you can be Certain...

With so much of life up in the air and outside of our control, it's sometimes valuable to stop and appreciate the things you can always count on.  Marriage and motherhood have only served to demonstrate further both how little control I have over the majority of my life, and the few things that are Certain to Occur.

I call the following the "It Never Fails Laws:"

• If you straighten your hair, it never fail to rain (despite any and all weather forecasts)
• If you decide you to stay up late (because what the hell, just because your a mom doesn't mean you can't have a little fun), your child will never fail to wake up multiple times in the wee hours of the morning
• If you go grocery shopping without a list, (no matter how few items you need or how many times you repeat them in your head on the way to the store) you will never fail to forget something both crucial and obvious
• If you decide to risk it and boldly wear the same outfit twice (because you didn't get it dirty and there is No Way you will see the same group as yesterday) it never fails that you will run into someone who saw you the day before
• If you decide you will have a miserable time at an event no matter what...you will - it never fails
• If you only give yourself exactly the amount of time it normally takes to get ready in the morning on a day when you need to be on time for something, it never fails that the baby will demand to cluster nurse the entire hour before you have to go
• If you yell at your husband for doing something you have repeatedly asked him not to do, it never fails that soon after you will totally forget and do something he has repeatedly requested You not do
• If you get angry at a car that didn't stop at a crosswalk, it never fails that you will shortly thereafter get cut off by an aggressive pedestrian...presenting you with an aggravating opportunity to hold your tongue
• If you begin to get irritated with a particularly annoying trait of your mother's, it never fails that you will start noticing that you are doing it too
• If you dress the baby in an outfit you really really like and you want someone to see, it never fails that he will poop/spit up all over it, right as you are trying to leave to show said outfit off
• If you spend 10-15 minutes in quiet alone with God in the morning (no matter how completely impossible it feels to set aside that time) it never fails to make the rest of your day better
• If you vent that your husband never says "I'm sorry," life never fails to present you with multiple opportunities to "demonstrate" for him how to do so
• If you hold your tongue and choose Not to add your very accurate opinion about an extremely heated topic being debated on a friend's FB page, someone else will shortly do it for you - it never fails
• If you obsess over something a friend has that you want (being thinner, wealthier, having cuter clothes, a cooler job etc.) it never fails to become more and more important to you.  If you can rejoice for her, it never fails to cease to be a big deal

And Finally

• If you recognize that you are lost and broken, in desperate need of a Savior...God will Always reach out and heal your wounded heart, put back together the myriad broken and scattered pieces of your life, offer you not only Forgiveness but Redemption and Love you with an Unstoppable, Wildly Passionate, Forever Love. 

•  He Never Fails.

Yankee Etiquette and a Latin Thanksgiving

I knew from the get-go, marrying into a Latino family was going to be fascinating.  And frightening.  And funny.  And frustrating.   And 3+ years have only served to confirm my suspicions.  If any of you have seen the movie Spanglish, then you understand Jim-dear's up-bringing.  Not in the only-child/single-mother sense, but in the child-communicating-for-the-parent/constant culture-barrier sense.  Jim-dear is the 4th of 5 children born to Mr. and Mrs. Dear, and the youngest of the four boys.  He grew up with both his parents working long hard hours to provide for him and his siblings in this new country they moved to and he and I are incredibly grateful to them.  Yet, despite their having been in this country for 35 years now, and all the children raised here, there are some things that just aren't the same. So, when I offered to host Thanksgiving and spend it with his family for the first time last year, I knew I was probably in for…something.

Now, to give you a quick back-ground for me: My family hails from New England.
For those of you Non-Yankees, I am first and foremost sorry that you don't have the blessing and privilege to be from New England.  I have been to the south, I have been to the west, I have been to the southwest and the northwest, I have lived in the Mid-Atlantic States and I have lived in Europe...and I love New England best.  The ocean, the mountains, the forests, the wicked awesome lobsta and Bean town are some of the most beautiful and unique parts of this epic world God created.  Unfortunately, New England is just too dang cold Nov-April, so while I love visiting and playing in the snow while I'm there...I doubt I will ever move home again. 

Another thing I love about my home is the way you can count on people.  I know, I know, everyone says "New Englanders are cold."  Well, yes and no.  We don't love strangers, and we don't consider "friendliness" to be synonymous with "polite."  We don’t bend, break or change.  However, we always call and make a plan before we come over to visit.  We ask what we can bring before we come, we show up on time and we leave early if we think that would make you more comfortable.  We help a stranger when asked, would do absolutely anything for friends or family, and do our darnedest not to be an inconvenience whenever possible.  We worry about offending and while we speak with a thick accent on occasion, social etiquette is not lost upon us.  And though little if anything can make us change, you can absolutely count on that.

Now, back to last Thanksgiving - having received my mother-in-law’s blessing, I gleefully proceeded to plan the menu: sweet potato crust-less pie, broccoli-cheddar-mushroom crumble, cranberry-grand-marnier relish, sausage stuffing, creamy mashed potatoes, sweet maple squash and balsamic-vidalia onion gravy were a few of the sides and of course turkey, brined and then basted in an herb-butter blend and slow roasted for hours was my center piece.  Apple pie, pumpkin pie and pecan pie with ice cream and coffee were my natural dessert choices, and with that decided I sent out an email to all of Jim-dear’s siblings, parents and cousins in the area, giving them the start time and general plan for the day, and asking for RSVPs.  And then, I waited.  And, might I add, I waited patiently. Quite patiently.  For quite some time.  And, received nothing.  No offers to help cook, or questions on what to bring, let alone confirmations of attendance!  But, fearing this might happen, I had planned on cooking it all, and asked Jim-dear to text everyone and at least force a yea or nay out of them.  This produce at least minimal results (I should add that all of Jim-dear’s brothers were bachelors at the time), and I went forward with my plans as though all would come.

The week arrived and I contentedly and slavish cleaned and baked Mon-Wed.  The day arrived and I woke far before the dawn even considered cracking and continued to cook and bake and decorate.  And at 1:50pm, ten whole minutes before our dinner was to begin, I was actually ready.  And I was grateful no one had arrived early.  But then, 30 minutes went by and gratitude changed to confusion.  I went back and checked the email…it still read 2pm like I thought.  I returned items to their various sauce pans and pots and put them back on the stove and stayed calm.  20 more minutes went by; I checked my hair about 17 times and began to have mild panic-attacks about my turkey getting cold.  30 more minutes went by, and I bit back tears as I went to ask Jim-dear, “If his family had always secretly hated me, why didn’t they just tell me instead of standing me up after all my hard work and preparation?”

And then the door bell rang.  And over the next hour, family poured in.  And family members I didn’t know we had. And friends of the family I didn’t know and hadn’t invited but someone else in the family had.  And with the family, came dish after dish of absolutely beautiful food I had neither asked for, nor expected.  Rice and beans, flan con queso, conquito, an entire roasted shoulder of pork and accompanying gravy, cheese cakes and salads and beef and lentil soup and more rice with different kinds of beans began flooding my neatly prepared table with their riot of colors and scents.  Home-made sangrias, and breads and candies and fried plantains filled my counter-tops, and suddenly loud Spanish dance music flooded my home.  And my dinner for 18 turned into a feast that could have fed 40 but was actually for 25.  And I was so over-whelmed, I debated crying.  And then, Jim-dear came up behind me and said, “It’s perfect. How did you do it?”


I wanted to shout at him, but instead, I closed my eyes for a moment.  When I opened them again, I didn't stop seeing all of the changes and interruptions and unexpected differences that were spoiling my “perfect day,” but I also suddenly noticed that absolutely everyone was smiling, and relaxing and laughing.  I saw that the feast truly was so much better with the myriad of additions, that the music was leading to dancing (and I love dancing) and that the people I hadn’t invited were thrilled to be there, and adding to laughter and enjoyment of all.  I looked up at Jim-dear and he must have seen the remains of the “deer-in-the-head-lights” look in my eyes because he said, “Don’t worry.  You did great.  They only act like this when it’s just family.”  And I while a part of me still desperately wanted things to go my way, the rest of me won out and I just felt incredibly loved instead.  This late, loud, lavish group of people had welcomed me as family, and I decided to just be thankful for the compliment.

It was literally the most delicious and fun Thanksgiving of my life. J

Broccoli, Cheddar and Cremini Mushroom Crumble

To me, this is the ideal, quintessential Thankgiving dish.  As has been previously established, I have a potentially out-of-control obsession with cheese, and the rich creaminess of the Old English Cheddar laced through-out this veggie-filled, crumb-topped delight just about takes me over the edge.  Not to mention, despite growing up in more than 14 homes and on multiple continents, no matter where my family celebrated Thanksgiving, my mummy would make me this dish (in the recipe-book my mum gave me as a wedding present, this recipe is decorated with a hand drawn heart that says "I love you always darling!" - Mum).
This is not a "meat and potatoes" style side, nor is it likely to be served at the latest trendy tapas type of restaurant.  No, it lies somewhere contentedly in between - unpretentious, yet independently capable of exciting and satisfying the taste buds. A year or so ago, this dish may have even carried that southern staple term "casserole" in it's description, but 2011 has been good for this ol' standby.  I've improved a few ingredients, now "dress it up" in a rustic yet lovely stoneware dish and have knighted my childhood favorite with the far more socially acceptable title of "crumble" to help draw the potentially leery general public close.  One bite of this buttery, crumbly, creamy and crunchy dish and it won't matter what I call it...you'll be hooked!

Ingredients:

2 Bundles Fresh Broccolli
3-3 1/2 cups Crushed Whole Wheat RITZ Crackers (whole wheat is optional, as is the brand of cracker, but personally I think the above is the best option with this dish)
10oz Old English Cheddar Cheese (This is a soft cheese that comes in a glass or plastic container.  I find my favorite at Whole Foods, but Kraft makes one as well that many main-stream grocery stores carry. If you buy the Kraft brand like my mum does, then you need two glass containers for this recipe).
3/4 cup Melted Butter
1/2lb sliced cremini or "baby bella" mushrooms
1 small pkg sliver Almonds (2.25oz)

White Sauce Ingredients:
6tbsp Butter
6tbsp Flour
3cups Milk (2% or whole)

Directions:
1.) Make white sauce - melt butter in a sauce pan, add flour.  Stir and cook over medium heat for 2 minutes, making a thick paste slightly browning in color.  Add milk, turn heat to low and stir until thickened and creamy.
2.) Stir in Cheddar and leave on lowest heat. Stir often. 
3.) Pre-heat oven at 350
4.) Par-boil or partially steam Broccoli (should be cooked but still firm)
5.) Crush crackers and mix with melted butter. 
6.) Grease 9x12 pan
7.) Layer half the cracker mix on bottom of the pan.  Add the broccoli, then almonds and then mushrooms. Pour sauce over the top. Crumble the other half of the crackers on top.
8.) Bake for 30 min
9.) Please enjoy!!

Polenta Bites topped with Goat Cheese and Roasted Peppers

These days it seems more and more of my friends and family are finding out they have gluten or lactose allergies, and it never fails that right after I've invited someone over for dinner they announce they are on a diet. So, serving pigs in a blanket or bread and brie as an appetizer isn't always an option anymore. However, I refuse to start serving only baked chicken and kale. Therefore, my creative cooking capabilities fired-up and I am happy to announce that this Thanksgiving I've come up with at least one gluten-free, vegetarian and dairy free appetizer I am thrilled to serve and eat myself!

Did you know polenta is gluten-free and fat-free naturally, and that people with dairy allergies can eat goat cheese with no issues?  Did you know both of those items are also delicious, and even more so when topped with smokey, sweet roasted peppers?  Well, they are and here is a recipe that takes full advantage of all of the above (not to mention being easy and beautiful when fully prepped on a festive holiday tray). Enjoy!

Ingredients:
2 18oz Polenta Chubs (Chubs are pre-cooked polenta shaped in round tubes, similar to a breakfast sausage and can be found in the pasta section at Trader Joes and other grocery stores)
12oz Goat Cheese
3 Sweet Peppers (I like using one red, one orange and one yellow, but it's totally up to you)

Directions:
Brush the peppers in vegatable oil and roast under your broiler until all the skins are blackened and bubblly.  Immediately place peppers in a pot with a sealed tight lid and leave for about 15 min.  Remove peppers and skins should easily peel off.  Remove skins and scrape out seeds and slice peppers into squares, diamonds or triangles about 1/2in by 1/2in in size. Set aside.
Slice each chub into 12 round pieces and sautee in butter until they are crisy and browning around the edges. Spread a generous portion of goat cheese and top with a roasted pepper piece.  If you are unable to serve immediately, place slices side by side on a cookie sheet, cover with foil and reheat in the oven, until warm.  Serve and enjoy!!

Cranberry Grand Marnier Relish

Along with (I would assume) most Americans, when I envision a delicious slice or three of steaming, succulent turkey breast, it is smothered in a savory, creamy gravy.  And while I think it's a perfectly wonderful way to serve your Thanksgiving bird, last year my mother and I were longing for something more...and something less.  Something more unique, more flavorful, more complex...and something less heavy and creamy.  So we hunted on-line for ideas and found a few recipes for cranberry sauces and relishes.  Making a few key adjustment of our own, we concocted our Cranberry Grand Marnier Relish.  It's a tart, fresh and "grown-up" alternative to gravy...but it honestly makes a great side on it's own (and that way you can have delicious gravy as well!). 

This is a very simple dish, so if you are looking for something oh so easy, but oh so pretty to impress the in-laws with, I'd highly recommend it!

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cups fresh cranberries
1 small Valencia orange (seeded and quartered - but leave the peel on)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
4 tbsp walnuts
2 tbsp Grand Marnier


Directions:
Combine cranberries and orange segments in food processor.  Pulse about 4 times.  Add sugar and nuts, and pulse 1-2 more times.  The relish should be roughly the same texture as a regular pickle relish.  Add the Grand Marnier and taste.  Sometimes more sugar or more orange liquor may be desirable.  Chill and enjoy!

Confessions of an Over-Committed House-wife

With a word like “confessions” in the title, I can’t very well start with small talk; I may as well get straight to the heart of the matter:

I am addicted to cheese. 

And not just in a passing crush kind of way, nor in a monogamous commitment to your more stable Cheddar, or Swiss.  Nope, I’m more situated in a riot of the heart, come ruin or rapture love affair with almost every form of frommage one can find at their local Trader Joe’s. Sweet and tangy cranberry goat cheese, creamy Havarti dill and dry and elegant Parmesans – I buy and consume them at an alarming rate.  And you may wonder at the cause for concern; isn’t it just a chunk of cheese after all?  Just a chunk?!  Have you seen the calories a “chunk” of cheese contains?  Of course you have. Because likely, you are one of those controlled and capable women who allots themselves only a reasonable portion of such fatty treats and can be content with that.  But I’ve never been good at allotting, reasonable, portions or contentment, and on the off chance that you aren’t either, perhaps the rest of this rambling little essay will apply to you as well.

            You see, that same lack of self control has now crept far beyond my refrigerator door (where I thought I kept it at least satiated with copious quantities of cheese) and into the majority of my new life as stay-at-home mama.  In fact, giving birth to my son a few months ago and choosing to plunge head-long into the world of house-wifery opened up my eyes to a great deal of things I never expected to excel at/ am not that good at.  I feel like I have failed and flourished, succeeded and sucked pretty much every day by at least 9am. And I know by that time if it’s going to be a good day, because by then I either am or am not ready to rush out the door to do the many things I’ve committed to.

            It is this constant state of rushing, combined with that little knot in my stomach telling me I’m not quite fulfilling all of the needs and roles I should, that brings me to  my current life question; how do we achieve balance ladies?  How do we walk that razor-fine line between boredom and epic, over-commitment melt-down? How do we truly invest, without getting overwhelmed?  How do we learn to let our yes be yes and our no be no? And how do we balance spending time with the people we love and loving the people who need our time? I was sort of prepared for the sleepless nights, changing my daily routine and the mountains of laundry (though honestly, nothing can really ready you for That Much Laundry!), but I had no clue about all the other options moms and women in general have to weigh and consider.

            There are just too many things I
feel I must do, and on top of that, there are the many things I want to do.  Ideally, I would spend my days with my three closest friends, drinking wine or coffee, passing around our babies and concocting kitchen confections or playing outside and occasionally shopping.  The evenings would alternate between quiet family affairs with Jim-Dear, Noodle and I and going out with/having friends over. And to be honest, some of my days look exactly like that. But then there’s the moms group my dear friend helps run that I couldn’t not join, the Bible-study I enjoy but eats up half my day once a week, the book club run by wives of Jim-Dear’s closest friends (who I feel obligated to try and enjoy), the random play-dates with women who want to connect and who, if I had the time, I’m sure I would like and don’t even get me started with the in-laws and all the obligatory events that having all of them live near by entails.

            While the chaos of over-commitment  has just recently come crashing down on my head, I don’t believe this solely a challenge for moms or closet introverts who would secretly prefer to spend their days reading a book on the beach.  No, the more I talk with various friends and acquaintances, the more I find the “schedule-full-to-the-breaking-point-and-no-longer-any-fun” seems to be an almost universal feminine dilemma.  Something about our relational hearts, our empathetic inability to say no, our debilitating self-imposed perfectionism that makes us feel “we should be able to do it all,” means we commit and commit and commit until we are simply a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none.  We run late and leave early and are constantly apologizing for never accomplishing all we say we will or think we should. For moms we feel alternating guilt for either not spending enough one-on-one time with our babies or for not exposing them to enough new stimuli. For those who haven’t found a man worth settling down for yet, replace “play-dates” with “first-dates” and worries about your baby getting out with worries about you getting out and it’s the same problem.

            Unfortunately, I only know how much I don’t know when it comes to answering this question. I don’t know how to judge what I need to do and what I can refuse or ignore.  I haven’t learned how to guard free-time when faced with an onslaught of well-meaning invitations.  As of yet, I really don’t have any clue how to balance out this chaotic life of mine.  But my desire is that by admitting out loud that I am a bit of a mess, and I cannot do it all, I am perhaps helping you to do the same.  I am hoping that recognizing the impossible standard I’ve placed on my shoulders of “doing everything I’m asked to” will help me eventually lay that standard down.  And more than anything I’m hoping that reading about my own admission of inadequacies will free a few of you to recognize you also are not required to “do it all,” that perfection is not attained through a maximized planner and if you feel over-whelmed, you are neither a failure nor alone.  In fact, it's our desire to support one another that has landed us in this whole conundrum in the first place!  I’m awfully grateful to my other ladies who lunch, and you girls who have stopped by and lent a sympathetic ear to my self-imposed woes; I cling to the fact that we may be a hot mess, but at least we are in it together. 

And thankfully at the end of each over-full day, waiting patiently in my refrigerator, is a creamy little chunk of cheese, willing to satisfy both my hunger and my desire to once again be unreasonable and completely outside of appropriate portions but very very happy.

Wednesday Funnies

For lack of some hilarious pictures for you all to chortle at, this Wednesday post features some hilarious snippets we took from a "Parents" magazine. Circa early 1900s, this proves that since the beginning of time, kids have always made us wonder whether they are actually smarter than we are.

1933
I had gone out one afternoon and when I returned I could hear Dorothy scolding at the top of her voice. I went into the room where she and her brother were, and there was Jimmy, sitting still. I said, "Why can't you be like Jimmy? He isn't saying a word." She responded, "Of course not. He's Papa coming home late, and I'm you." (Editor's note: "Ouch..." - E,J,K,J)

1934
Paula was telling her playmates about a grown-up who was a vegetarian. "But she's only an inside vegetarian, not an outside one, 'cause she wears a fur coat."




1953
After Mary had a tonsillectomy, she was heard to remark, "Of the two times I've been in the hospital, I like being born best."


1958
At Sunday School, little Bobby was inspired by the story of Eve's creation from one of Adam's ribs. later in the day, Bobby felt a pain in his side. "Oh, Mother," he cried. "I think I'm going to have a wife!"
(Editor's note: "This one made us chuckle. Loudly." - E,J,K,J)


1963
Miss Watson, the teacher, assigned the second grade to illustrate the song "America the Beautiful". When 7-year-old Michael handed in his paper, Miss Watson recognized the flag, the map, the mountains, even the artist's idea of "from sea to shining sea". But she didn't recognize the airplane, covered with red and yellow balls. "That" explained Michael, "is the fruited plane".

1971
We were on our way to the doctor's office when my 3-year-old asked if she and I could exchange doctors. Puzzled, I asked her why? "Because," she explained, "my doctor only gives me lollipops and bubble gum. Yours gives out babies!"

Happy Wednesday!

Butterscotch and Chocolate Spiders

Noticing Halloween creeping up around the corner, I have found myself inspired to compete with the generic candy brands by concocting my own creepy confections.  Now of course, the tragedy is that these days you can't hand out home-made treats to the kids, because everyone has heard the stories about razor blades and poison (it's never happened - read "Free-Range Kids" if your curious), but at the very least you can spoil your friends or hubby with this sweet spidery treat!

This is a recipe my Nanna used to make for my sister and I every so often, but particularly every Halloween.  Sweet, salty, crunchy and simple - they satisfy some deep childhood desire within me, and I hope they bring a smile to your spooky day as well!

Ingredients:

1 pkg butterscotch bits (substitute dark chocolate if you want the chocolate version)
1 Tbsp peanut butter (substitute shortening if there is a nut allergy concern)
1 can (5 1/2oz) Chinese noodles
1 cup dry roasted peanuts (these can be left out if there is a nut allergy concern)

Directions:
Melt bits and peanut butter in a saucepan. Stir in noodles and nuts and mix until thoroughly coated.  Drop heaping tablespoon fulls onto waxed paper and let harden in the fridge - approx 1/2 hour (or for rapid results, the freezer).  Once they are chilled, they look like chunky, many legged arachnids and can be stored at room temp, but do best in the fridge or freezer. Enjoy!

Halloween Rap Featuring the Ladies & Special Guest Bob Ross!

Halloween Rap Featuring the Ladies & Special Guest Bob Ross! 
 ***Feel free to sing along!***

Cast (in order of appearance:

DJ Spinna: Evelyn

Count Dracula: Jayne

Frankenstein: Julia

Witch: Kate

Mummy: Bob Ross

From Our Kitchen to Yours: French Berry Crumble

There is something both extremely elegant and comforting about a berry dessert. How can you fail to get excited about the unexpected tangy zest that cuts into anticipated sweetness, the textural complexity that your fruit of choice adds to the pastry and sauce it's nestled in - and the added bonus of having a little nutritional value to assuage your guilty conscious who always pipes up when you contemplate that second slice. Now I'm aware that the majority of women out there don't think it's worth the calories if it's not smothered in chocolate, but I'm confident this decedent little crumble can hold it's own, even when competing with dessert giants such as brownies or chocolate cheese cake. And if it doesn't satisfy your needs, nothing says you can't top the whole thing with a dollop of hot fudge!

Ingredients:
24oz Morello/Dark Cherries*
1 cup frozen fruit (consider raspberries, blueberries, strawberries)
1 cup flour
1 cup instant oatmeal (T.J.'s whole grain cranberry is my go-to)
3/4 cup firm butter (many crumble recipes advocate for more butter, I don't think it's missed at all here, but feel free to add more if desired)
1 cup brown sugar
3 tsp Cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla

(*this is the amount needed, already drained. If you live near a Trader Joe's, you can find these in 24.5oz jars, buy two and drain the juice and you have the right amount.  You can also substitute cherry pie filling - to cut down on some of the fake sweetness that comes with the filling, rinse the majority of the sweet syrup off of them. With the syrup cut down, you will probably need 3 cans to equal the correct proportion)



Directions:
Pre-heat oven at 350. Drain the cherries and pour them into a 2 1/2 quart baking dish (a 9x9 casserole dish will work as well). Add frozen fruit and one tsp of cinnamon and stir until mixed. In a medium bowl stir together flour, oatmeal, sugar and cinnamon. Chop firm butter up into small pieces and add to the bowl along with the vanilla. With a fork or fingers (fingers really is the easiest) blend the butter into the dry ingredients until you have formed a stiff and sticky crumble. Crumble your mixture on top of the fruit and place in the oven until the top is a golden brown (approx. 30 min). Serve warm with vanilla ice-cream and enjoy!

10 Halloween Costumes That We May or May Not Like to See This Year

 

 10. Pimp Child. Nothing like giving your child a Life Lesson in how sometimes, life just isn't fair - make sure you are at the top of the food chain!

 

9. Princess & The Witch. It's pretty obvious which kid is the favorite in this family. Heck, that other one is so ugly they don't even want the face shown.

8. Harem Girl. This is really just a precursor to a blog that Evelyn is working on. AKA "Ho-lloween". It appears there are two lessons to be learned here: Dressing like a loose woman will increase your chances of "candy" and be ready to be just one of many in your man's life. Thumbs up for that parenting win!

 

7. The Human-Toilet. We don't know if this is a statement to all the kids who get *ahem* $%(# on, or if this kid is a science geek who created a fully working toilet for his costume, or maybe he's a starving actor playing the plum roll of Port-a-Potty in his school play...

 

6. Kool-Aid Man. A primary example of why body art should be outlawed.  OH YEAH!

 

5. Shark And/Or Shark Victim. Here's a great way to analyze your child's self esteem: Is he the legs, or the shark? Either one should land him about 2 years in therapy. Also...how does one see in this thing?

By the way, this costume made us laugh out loud.

 

4. Missing Child. Have you seen my sense of humor? Call 1-800-BADJOKE. We aren't sure how we feel about this one. Points awarded for creativity. As parents, Julia and Jayne cringe a little. While hiding smiles. Evelyn laughs outright. Kate writes down the idea for future reference.

 

3. Alien Chicken. Alien is an all time classic, and this baby definitely looked good enough to eat! Way to mix it up with the chicken motif. Best part? His eyes. Pretty sure he knew what was coming...

2. Suicide bomber. I hope this picture wasn't taken in America. Because guys, its still too soon. This one ranks up there with American Indian costumes and Jesus on the Cross costumes. Just...no.

1. Zombie Baby. Had Julia known she was pregnant last year she SO would have used this idea. The only way to top it is to use a real baby. 

Got good ideas or pictures? Send them to us at ladieswholuncheon@gmail.com and we'll include them in a post!

Welcome! Sit Down! Pour Yourself a Cup!

Please, allow us to introduce ourselves. 

First there's Julia. She sadly has to go to work daily and leave her tiny munchkin (AKA Shiny) at daycare. Julia has one husband, who has decided that his name will be Brain Trust. Yes, she did have to look up what a Brain Trust was. Since he's the smartest person she knows within a 30-mile vicinity, for the intents and purposes of the blog it will be shortened to The Brain. Julia would like to spend more time with Shiny and The Brain, especially since her work puts her in close proximity to several crazy homeless men who tell her that she smells like Vanilla Lollipops. When she isn't working and writing, Julia likes to ballroom dance, drink copious amounts of tea, and play video games until she realizes Shiny is screaming at the top of her lungs and The Brain is bellowing for more chicken-and-broccoli and Odie & Garfield (the dog and cat) are running in circles around the living room. You know what the one upside to work is? It's deliciously silent...

Jayne is a twenty-something freckled contradiction in terms. Confident, highly opinionated and consistently over-scheduled, she often changes her mind, prefers to be alone, and struggles with insecurity. She loves stilettos but is often bare-foot, lives in dresses but spends way too much money on “just the right pair of jeans,” and loves watching football and reading sci-fi/fantasy but prefers to be known as a princess rather than a tom-boy. She’s obsessed with red wine and coffee, but is almost as likely to be seen drinking strong dark British tea or a glass of Muscato. She adores the ocean and quiet wild places, but lives in a thirteen-story high-rise in one of the busiest cities on the East Coast.  She married Jim-dear three years ago, and he is the Immovable Object to her Unstoppable Force.  Tall, dark, handsome, and oddly serene for a Latino, Jim-dear handles with humor and grace every ounce of Irish temper and wild joy Jayne manages to throw at him. Usually. The perfect depiction of their relationship lies somewhere between Ricky and Lucy Ricardo and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Jayne’s  life has been completely turned inside out since Noodle was born three months ago and she decided to stay home with him.  No more crazy career, no more business trips across the country, but suddenly more moms’ groups and laundry than she ever believed possible.  Per usual, she doesn’t really have a plan or any idea how she is going to tackle this new turn in her life, but she’s prepared to face it with an ample amount of laughter, questions, tears, therapy-baking, and prayers. And coffee, lots of coffee.

Evelyn is a complex woman of a bit too much sarcastic wit, rather enough student loans, and many hobbies.  As a famous, somewhat fictional Spaniard once said, "Let me 'splain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up."  On her name badge at work, her three interests as listed are: theatre, literature, and developing superpowers.  The name badge in question lives on the wall next to her desk which currently houses a PC and two monitors, an iMac, two keyboards, two mice, an iPad, an iPod, an Android tablet, a tape dispenser, a notepad, a book, a pencil cup, two water bottles, and an eraser shaped like toast, which is her favorite food.  Her other home is a “one bedroom” apartment, which is the fourth consecutive domicile she has inhabited in which her boudoir was sans door for one reason or another (hence the scare quotes.)  In this case, having no bedroom door means no obstacles in the way of cross-apartment dance-with-no-pants-fest (which is not meant as a euphemism) so she doesn't mind.  She doesn't have any husbands or childrens to trip over in her dancing at the moment, making her the “single and fabulous” quadrant of the group, if not the slightly more “mentally hilarious” one.  But since she lives and works in the City of Subdued Excitement, she tries to keep it down.

Kate is a not-so-newlywed living in the Northwest with her husband, several spiders, and mosquitoes who could carry away a small moose. She's a senior editor at a small publishing house, and spends her days drinking endless cups of tea and scrawling red-inked notes in the margins of manuscripts. And once a month or so she gets to throw on her strappy heels and fly all over the country to have important meetings and sit on panels and pretend she’s much more important than she is. But when work is over she comes home and passes the evening cooking up soups and cobblers and begging the hubby to please have another helping so it doesn't go to waste. She loves to hike and camp (as long as someone brings marshmallows) and has good intentions of becoming a runner, but when the rainy season lasts eight months and you hate running on a treadmill ... well, isn't it just easier to stay inside and experiment with rhubarb? Isn't it?

So that's us: four women in four different places and four different stages in life who love to write and are figuring out what it means to be a woman in the twenty-first century. This is our place to write about dating, motherhood, marriage, kitchen catastrophes, and all the things we never anticipated about being grown-up. We'll post recipes and pictures and we'll tell stories. We'll discuss the woes of laundry and the joys of farmers' markets and the perils of family holiday gatherings. We'll talk about books and music and religion and science and art that moves us beyond ourselves. And we'll laugh a lot, because, as the inimitable Audrey Hepburn said, "Laughing is the best calorie burner." (She went on to say that she "believes in kissing, kissing a lot." So do we.) 

Since we can't gather for a weekly luncheon at a charming tea shop with cushy blue throw pillows strewn artfully about the place, we'll meet here instead. We hope you'll join us.

Welcome.